Continued from "Picture Perfect"
I had one of Oprah's "Ah ha" moments. My dad and step mom made a decision that I didn't agree with. However, I didn't speak up. I let it go, hoping they would make a decision I was happy with. Unfortunately that decision went the other way that could have caused hurt feelings of my children. I'd had enough. I wasn't going to let my children feel slighted by them not showing up for something as simple as a school performance, even though they did have two different grandchildren events to choose from that day. Instead of saying something right then and there, I waited. I'm not sure if was for "the perfect time" to approach it, or if it was just to find the right words to vocalize what I had been feeling for years, as those surfaced at my "Ah ha" moment.
After the conversation I had with Melissa, I was more aware of the things really bothering me. I had also been in deep discussion with hubby about what I was feeling, realizing that he too was feeling the same things from my family. I'm one of those people who doesn't like to rock the boat and bottles up feelings, which has not been very healthy for me in the long run. In January, I will turn 40. Since I've been on the road to a "Healthy Lifestyle" I figure it is time to correct this path and start vocalizing my feelings.
I kinda avoided them for a few months. That's what I usually do when I'm not happy or just plain mad at someone. So non-confrontational! Then I got this call from my step mom. She just called to check in, see how we were doing, what the kids were up to, but I didn't wanna talk. Do you ever have people get in touch with you that you really aren't in the mood to talk to? Or, are they someone you are mad at for some reason and you just want to get them off the phone as fast as you can? I just wasn't ready to talk to her, so I got her off the phone as soon as I could.
After about 30 min or so, I called them back and proceeded to tell them what was on my mind. Things that I had kept inside since high school, my early twenties, etc; all the things that made me feel like the "black sheep of the family". I vented, they listened. I cried, they apologized. I became vulnerable, they sympathized. When I was done, I had this amazing, liberating feeling. You know that term, "a weight lifted off of your shoulders"? That was me. I was so relieved I finally let it go, that weight disappeared.
As a family, we decided to wipe the slate clean. Start a new. I was lucky that both my dad and step mom were on the phone so I only had to go through it once. Now, we're on the road to recovery.
To be continued....
